Kelly’s Caring Story
Kelly’s story finding support that fits – Building Carer Friendly Communities in Portsmouth
For many people, caring starts with doing what needs to be done rather than a big moment. That’s exactly how it felt for Kelly. For years, she didn’t think of herself as a carer; she was simply mum to her son James. “I just did what any mum would do, and I got on with it.”
Like many carers, Kelly didn’t know what an unpaid carer was. She didn’t know what sort of support might be out there or that carer’s allowance even existed. She carried on day after day, juggling appointments, waiting lists and worries. She often felt conflicted about the idea of being labelled a “carer” and she just dealt with everything on her own.
Her son’s additional needs were picked up on when he was around two years old and as he got older, Kelly found herself constantly thinking ahead. Not just about what was happening now, but about the future, and what that might look like for them both. In 2025, Kelly made the decision to move back to live in Portsmouth after 14 years living in Havant. It was a big step, but one that felt right. “I just knew Portsmouth would be better for him. There was more support, more services, more understanding.” Since moving back, Kelly says it’s opened their world up.
Kelly first came across Portsmouth Carers service online through its Facebook page. She spotted a post about a coffee morning and thought about going along. It felt very daunting walking into somewhere new, so she called up the service first and said that she wanted to come along. “I didn’t have high expectations. I just wanted to go somewhere, have a coffee, and talk to someone who understood.” That’s exactly what she found – a friendly and welcoming space where she felt listened to. “You hear other people’s stories and think, ‘that sounds like me’ or ‘that sounds like my child.’” Being around other carers meant she didn’t have to explain herself and people understood how her life was a balancing act of talking to services and arranging appointments.
For her, being part of a carer support group meant:
- Talking openly with people who understood
- Trying arts and crafts groups (something she never thought would be “her thing”)
- Having a bit of time and space just for her
She also learned about practical support such as the carer emergency card and putting a contingency plan in place. “I always had that worry in the back of my mind – what would happen to James if something happened to me?” Laura at the Portsmouth Carers Centre was able to support Kelly to work through these areas. She could go at her own pace, and it really felt like a huge weight had been lifted. “It’s put so many worries to rest.”
Kelly has been able to start thinking about herself and her future again. She’s now taking part in the Connect to Work Programme and attending courses through the Community Learning Service in Portsmouth. She’s completed her Level 2 Food Safety and Hygiene qualification, joined wellbeing and relaxation sessions, and taken part in interview preparation workshops.
She’s already had two interviews, which she would never have felt confident enough to do before receiving the help and support from the Portsmouth Carers Centre.
What matters most to Kelly is knowing that support is there when she needs it. “Even if I’m busy or can’t attend for a while, I know I can get back in touch and pick things up again.” The flexibility and being able to dip in and out without pressure or judgement has made a real difference to her life.
Kelly’s message to other carers is “Give it a try. Whether you feel isolated, stressed and tired. Even if you think you’re coping. It is still good for you.”
Kelly’s story shows how important carer friendly communities really are. When carers are welcomed, listened to and supported in ways that fit their lives, it can change everything. Not all at once, but in lots of small ways that add up to something bigger.
And sometimes, it all starts with a cup of coffee and a conversation.